Sometimes I wonder about the state of the world, and then I look at ebay and I lose all faith in humanity. Here are some of the most bizarre things for sale on ebay.
The text with this one said "YOU ARE BIDDING ON A GENUINE FLY. SIMILAR TO THE ONE THAT WAS SWATTED BY PRESIDENT OBAMA DANNY LARUSSO STYLE!
THIS FLY IS LIKELY TO BE RELATED TO THE DEAD FLY OBAMA SWATTED.
OWN A PIECE OF HISTORY!"
Text: "Up for auction is the haunted mutant potato of doom .It weighs about a fourth of a pound and is approximately 3" x 3" . It may seem like any other mutant potato of doom , but it is not . This Potato is a complete freak oddity of the vegetable world. I believe this to be the potato reincarnation of a set of conjoined twins from a traveling freak show of the 1800's.Bid on this potato and I guarantee it will be the mutant potato of your dreams .Buy this for your self or a loved one . Cook it with a steak to freak some one out during dinner . Stick it in a jar of formaldehyde and set it on your coffee table and there will never be a dull conversation.I know what you are thinking , why do I need a mutant potato of doom . The answer is plain and simple and you want it because it is made of pure awesome. There will never be another potato like this one out there this haunted potato is completely unique . I once thought about peeling it and cooking it for mashed potatoes ,but could not because the potato peeler would disappear every time . I believe this was also the potatoes doing . It is as if the potato knew my every thought . I some times think this potato will bring a doom to us all . Plus it totally looks like a scrotum"
Text: "IT'S BACK!!!!!! For the person who has everything. A 100% authentic Fart in a Bottle. This is no scam, no gimmick. The bottle contains a true, unique human fart. It makes a great gag gift, a party conversation piece, or the final item for someone who thinks they have everything. The bottle comes with a certificate of authenticity which states the date and time the bottle was "filled". This item does not arrive in some ugly, unattractive bottle. It arrives in a designer, swing top, brown glass bottle. Christmas is going to come early for the person who bids on this item. FOR THOSE WHO WERE WAITING, THIS FART CAME FROM A FEMALE!!!!!!!!!!
*Sample is strongest at time of collection. Strenght of odor may dissipate over time. Exterior of bottle was never exposed to sample. Seller is not responsible for lack of strong odor if the bottle is ever opened."
Text: "This Auction is for your Very Own IMAGINARY FRIEND! Upon winning this auction, I will dream up and bring to Life an Imaginary Friend just for you!!! Every one of our Imaginary Friends are Unique! You can choose a Male or Female, or just let me imagine one for you. Your new best buddy comes in his or her own Jar, which also can double as their bedroom or just where you send them when they are being a little Mischievous. (and believe me, they can be VERY Mischievous!!!) It also comes with an Official, Authentic Certificate of Transfer, listing the name, age, weight, height, hair and eye color, special characteristics, likes and dislikes! Your new friend can vary in color, size, age and special abilities. You never know what you're going to get. But what you can be sure of is you will always get the Very Best Imaginary Friends from my imaginary company."
Wow...why would people even search to find these things in the first place?